The Gorilla Report: The Inaugural Harambe Remembrance Tour

Coming to you live from the four-eight-oh, Trade The Cardinals is proud to announce the inaugural Harambe Remembrance concert and first stop of the Harambe Remembrance Tour on May 28th, 2023. Tickets will go on sale soon and are expected to sell out during the prerelease just like a Taylor Swift concert(yes, we may be working with her promoter). The Harambe remembrance tour will be coming to a surprise beer hall in Phoenix that will be disclosed when tickets go on sale! More tickets may become available depending on the early sales so stay tuned!

Trade The Cardinals is truly ecstatic to have the opportunity to host the very first Harambe Remembrance Tour and we wouldn’t have been able to put this together without the Suns Gorilla. The Suns Gorilla has been the brains and the brawn organizing the Harambe Remembrance tour and the tragic murder of Harambe wasn’t an easy thing for him to overcome. But I won’t speak for him. Here is the Suns Gorilla in his own words with a message to the fans and loved ones of both Harambe and Trade The Cardinals.

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Personally I cannot read Gorilla, however, our Trade The Cardinals intern was able to read the letter to the Trade The Cardinals staff before being taken to the hospital and the contents within blew us all away. The intern is fine, he only had an erection that lasted more than four hours and he was able to read this note so we were worried he was turning into a Gorilla (tests are inconclusive right now).

I will forever be in awe of the love that the Suns Gorilla has for his community and the sacrifices he has made along the way. We have all made mistakes but no gorilla has done more to express remorse for his mistakes and invest more time, money, and effort to make them right. His dedication Harambe’s family and to the Harambe Remembrance tour is unparalleled and for that we will be forever grateful.

More information regarding the Harambe Remembrance tour and how to buy tickets will be released in the upcoming Trade The Cardinals articles. Make sure you subscribe to the website and leave a comment if you want to guarantee your ticket now!