Week 9 Picks

Week 9 Picks: Jonah Coronado:

Not too an enticing slate. As the season is at its halfway midpoint, find myselg going heavy on the top teams in the league: Bills at Jets Pick: Bill -11.5. This is more a Zach Wilson is TERRIBLE than Josh Allen is AWESOME pick. I love the Bills here. I also hate the Jets as always, but perhaps I am biased as the Jets are currently under investigation from our Spotlight team which is being lead by Herman Dootmore, a long time vet in gonzo journalism. Dootmore has become a member of the Turnberry Trump Hotel and Resort in Ayr, Scottland, and has had played many a holes with your former president and Jets owner Woody Johnson. The reports are as seedy as you’d expect, Dootmore finding reason to believe the Jets are secretly a giant money laundering business for an ancient Scottish criminal syndicate which Trump has been bankrolling for years. Will keep you updated. Panthers at Bengals Over 42.5 I love Joe Burrow and PJ Walker to light up the scoreboard. Could Steve Wilks become a finalist for Coach of the Year? People are saying. Well, Denny Greens is saying.

Chargers at Falcons Pick: Falcons Moneyline +135 Love the Falcons and love the value. The LA Chargers rush defense is as loose as an Orange County housewife with the wallet at the plastic surgeon’s office. Falcons should win a close one as the Chargers commit their usual Chargers dumb fuckery.

Vikings at Commanders: Pick: Vikings -3

Vikings are 6-1 and are a good team. Captain Kirk should be motivated to shit pump his former team the Redskins Commanders. The Commanders are also wearing their black uniforms and reports are they are doing a black out for their 1 PM est game. Disgusting, just like most things involving our nation’s capitals. Vikings pillage and Justin Jefferson griddys all over those scummy gridlockers out there in old D.C. Skol!

Trade of the Week: Kyrie Irving to the Hollow Earth along with cash considerations and in return we receive King Kong for a month to deploy to Ukraine to help out the Astov Battalion and take back Crimea. Kyrie remains in the Hollow Earth in perpituity.

Gracey and Perry’s Picks:

We tried to get Perry into rehab but he wouldn’t go and has fled south of the border with all his new book money. Perry did text a couple of bets he liked so here we go. Packers at Lions Pick: Parlay Lions +3.5 and over 49.5

Raiders at Jaguars Pick: Raiders -2.0

Dolphins at Bears Pick: Bears Moneyline +170

Ravens at Saints Pick: Saints Moneyline +115

Play of the Week: To start your Sunday morning right after drinking all day Saturday watching college football and the world series. Ice Pumpkin Spiced Coffee with whipcream and steak and eggs.

Denny Greens:

Can you smell a loser as soon as you hit the palce wager button in your sportsbook app? I can. That’s why this weekend my only bets are on what I know best. Birds. This weekend is Denny Green’s “The Best of The Nest Parlay” weekend and my picks are as follows:

Falcons +3

Seahawks +2

Ravens -2.5

I will be betting the above straight up and parlayed +545

Also, gotta love the jaguars as dogs against the Carr crashing raiders.